Even the most humble and down to earth comic, at some point, dreams of the ultimate gig – the one that would tick all the boxes, and be worthy of all the hard work, bad gigs, little pay and crippling self-doubt they’d encounter along the way.

Once again, The Laugh Stand asked four rising comics about their ‘dream gig’…

CJ Delling

Where would your dream gig be?

In the General Assembly Hall at the United Nations headquarters in New York.

How would you “get in the zone” for the gig?

Getting a hug… or alternatively getting a pat down when going through the UN security check. If I close my eyes it feels like a hug from a very, very shy but “touchy” person.

Who would be at your dream gig?

The whole world! Well, almost… but audience members from 193 countries is pretty close. Oh, I guess I better not tell my airport customs jokes.

How would you like to be paid for the gig?

In foreign passports so that I could live and work anywhere in the world.

What song would you choose to come on stage to?

Bomfunk MC`s Freestyler, played from 4:30min.

Toby Muresianu

What would be your dream gig?

Madison Square Garden.

How would you “get in the zone” for the gig?

Lift weights. Pace uncontrollably. Memorize my set list a few thousand times.

What would you wanted stocked in the Green Room fridge?

Those smoothies that are too expensive to justify buying.

Which joke would you want to get a standing ovation for?

My closer, or it would be weird.

What would you ask be put on the poster?

The correct information, I guess…

Jarred Keane

What would be your backstage demands, or ‘rider’, at the gig?

A puppy on a mini trampoline.

Who would be at your dream gig? (living, dead, famous, people in your life, whatever you like).

No one I know.

Which other comedians or any type of act would you like to share the stage with at the gig?

I think a tuba player would be good because those people probably need to get out of the house every once in a while.

How would you want to travel to the gig?

From the future.

What would be your ideal after-party?

Jack White’s life.

Scott Thomson

In just a few words, what would be your dream gig?

Any gig where I was wasn’t being heckled by my mum. I did a gig once where a guy in the audience kept on shouting out “You suck!” all the way through my set. But eventually I did manage to get back at him with a little bit of a zinger. I burnt his house down.

Where would your dream gig be?

In space. Because no one can hear you die on stage.

What would be your backstage demands, or ‘rider’, at the gig?

My dream rider would be a knight mounted on a unicorn.

What would you wanted stocked in the Green Room fridge?

Bars of gold.

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Will The Laugh Stand on Thursday 19 June be a ‘dream gig’ for CJ, Toby, Jarred and Scott? Find out when they join Mikey Robins, Chris Wainhouse and more at FBi Social, Kings Cross Hotel!

WHAT :: The Laugh Stand
WHERE :: FBi Social, Level 3, Kings Cross Hotel
WHEN :: Thursday 19th June, from 8pm
HOW MUCH :: $15 ($10 for FBi Supporters!) from Fatsoma