One of the sad truths of being an Australian musician is that you do not, and most likely never will, make much money. The riders and antipasto platters waiting for you backstage are smokescreen. Unless you’re the Temper Trap or you wrote ‘Are You Gonna Be My Girl’, you will struggle financially until you’re spat out the other side, broke, broken and underqualified.

So what’s a girl to do? I have an idea.

I was recently in a cab with the radio tuned to God knows which station, and on comes Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life). As far as I can tell, despite purporting to mean heaps (the video clip features people in slow motion thinking about LIFE, being about life), the central message of the song is that life happens. Which doesn’t actually mean anything, except to impressionable teenagers finishing Year 12. And because of these teenagers Billy Joe Armstrong has, like a dastardly criminal serving multiple life sentences, earned enough money to live comfortably multiple times over.

Since Time of Your Life, there’s been Vitamin C’s Pachabel’s Canon in D (Friends Forever), and what else? Who else will feed this clearly ravenous audience their easily digested transition-marking marketing?

You will.

I think it’s time for a distinctly Australian version to be earning APRA cheques on high school graduation video montages across the country. Look, I’ve even written the lyrics for you. Just make sure you release it in September to guarantee maximum impact $$$. 

Now go forth, Hugh Grant in About a Boy! Make money you don’t deserve (capitalism)!

End of an Era (Future’s Just Begun)

Lyrics by Shag, music by YOU

When we started year seven, we were so afraid
We didn’t realise then, we were in this together
All those classes, all those teachers we obeyed
All forgotten, but our friendship will never sever

It’s the end of an era, but another’s round the corner
I wonder where we’ll be, when we’re 5 years older
Take my hand; we’ll start on the bottom rung
The past may be over but the future’s just begun

We’ve learnt so much, on this crazy journey
Who would have thought we’d get this far?
Do you remember getting fingered at Jeremy’s party?
I know, one day, we’re gonna be stars.

It’s the end of an era, but another’s round the corner
I wonder where we’ll be, when we’re 5 years older
Take my hand; we’ll start on the bottom rung
The past may be over but the future’s just begun

See you later (alligator)
In a while (crocodile)

It’s the end of an era, but another’s round the corner
I wonder where we’ll be, when we’re 5 years older
Take my hand; we’ll start on the bottom rung
The past may be over but the future’s just begun

It’s the end of an era, so let’s burn our uniforms
From now on we’re individuals who don’t conform
Forget the HSC, that pressure’s long gone
The past may be over but the future’s just begun

See you later (alligator)
In a while (crocodile)