Witness the Fitness #6: Sky Zone SkyFit
January 9th 2015
#7 SKY FIT CLASSES – TIGHT BUM
I never had a trampoline as a kid. My cousins, who were allowed Coco Pops for breakfast and didn’t have a set ration of how much Milo they were allowed to put in their milk, did.
This was the pre-safety dome trampoline era; when you could build a jet-pack out of a cereal box and run off then twist your ankle. Or you could ease your body into one of the larger holes in the side to see if you could fit, and then get stuck in it and have to call your Auntie Mez for help. You could get a static zap from the elastic or get your skin stuck in one of the springs and have neat little rows of red lines running up your thighs.
We would spend entire summers playing “crack the egg” and double-bouncing each other until one of us would fall off and start crying. Usually me. I was awed by the possibilities of the trampoline but also fully aware of its powers of destruction over my little body.
It was with a sense of childhood nostalgia that I decided to go to Sky Zone. The mega-centre which boasts 150 trampolines doesn’t just offer you the opportunity to bounce mindlessly; they have no less than seven group fitness classes, a foam pit AND a dodgeball league.
I’ve opted for a group fitness class called “tightbum” – because I’d like one.
Our instructor, Shelly, is very much into group fitness. She’s wearing a Lorna Jane motivational singlet, has a short practical haircut and does in fact, have a tight bum. I feel this is promising.
She tells us to put on our grippy Sky Zone socks and get on the trampolines, which are set up in a grid of about three by four, with a barrier of wall trampolines around the side. It’s like the bit in Finding Nemo where he wants to go and play with the big kids but instead his dad wants him to bounce on all the sponges with the babies. I’m into it.
We start by bouncing up and down, jumping side-to-side, pushing up with our feet a bit more. We have little races, bounding across the lines of trampolines and then do a sort of handstand against the wall. I’m getting a sweat up, but it just feels like we’re playing.
I like the concept of exercising without being too conscious of it, like medicine in honey.
Halfway through, Shelly brings out some resistance bands and tells us that we’re here for tight bums, so we better get to work. I can imagine that if she taught a boxing class she’d be the kind of instructor to yell “HA” really loud when you air-punch. She notices me slacking of a little bit and yells “C’mon!” like Arrested Development’s Gob announcing he’s wearing a $3000 suit.
So I start pumping my little legs up and down on the trampoline looking at her for approval; she gives me a wink and moves on to the next girl sweating away beside me. We squat and lunge and crunch away the next half hour. There’s a bit where we are seated with legs out straight, we use our arms to push down and our pelvis to push up like little fish flapping about for air. It goes on for so long that I feel like I’m the fish in that Faith No More film clip. My abs are killing me!
The hour ends, Shelly offers to take a photo for my Instagram and says we can just bounce around for a while. There’s a definite novelty factor to Sky Zone – but I’m pretty sure that my bum is, in fact, a little bit tighter.
WHAT: Sky Zone SkyFit Classes – tightbum
WHERE: 75, O’Riordan Street, Alexandria, Sydney
WHEN: Monday – Thursday (times vary from AM-PM)
HOW MUCH: $15 (book online here!)
WITNESS THE FITNESS
As a city, Sydney is guilty of succumbing to fitness trends (#cleaneathing #greensmoothie #acaigojispirullinabowl). If there’s one thing that Healthy Harold taught us, it’s that 30 minutes of exercise a day is one of the things that you should do if you want to be a grown up or good human. So, as Harold sits dormant in his caravan, robotic parts probably worn out, Bindi Donnelly has risen from his ashes to be your athletic spirit animal…
WITNESS THE FITNESS #5: Beyoncé Dance Class
WITNESS THE FITNESS #4: Morning Gloryville
WITNESS THE FITNESS #3: Pole Dancing
WITNESS THE FITNESS #2: Laughter Yoga
WITNESS THE FITNESS #1: Rollerfit