Game On :: Way of the Dogg
May 24th 2013
There are many reasons why people want to keep marijuana classed as an illegal substance. However I feel I must be the only person in the world whose reasons are based purely on a video game.
Way of the Dogg is a new game brought to us by 505 Studios. These guys have previously brought us certified classics such as Grease Dance and Hotel For Dogs, so the inclusion of Snoop *insert animal here* in their most recent game has lifted expectations through the roof. If it’s anything less than a masterpiece, the world will be in shock.
I can just imagine the meeting that took place when this game was first brought up. There would have been a plant as the centrepiece and a group of suits listening to Snoop’s reaction.
“Okay man I’ll do your game, but I want it to be about revenge. Kung fu.
I want it to look like a comic book, but for my peeps – it can’t be too fancy.”
When you boot up the game, you’re put in control of America Jones, a badass who wants revenge for the murder of his partner Sierra. What better way to do that than by learning kung fu from a cell-shaded, Rastafarian, Yoda-esque Snoop Lion.
Along the way you’ll encounter your fair share of stereotypical bad guys, whom you’ll pound into the ground with your new kung fu moves. However you don’t get to decide which moves to use, making the entire storyline a façade that attempts to give the gameplay some sort of meaning.
It’s basically like an accountant wearing an Afro wig and star shaped sunglasses attempting to convince people how hip they are. The entire reward system is based on ensuring you press the right button at the wrong time. That’s it. That’s all you do.
An A button comes up on screen; you press A. X comes up? Oh that X is getting a pushing, Left direction button’s in the building now so you’d better believe you’re pushing that D-pad left. At some point you’ll wonder if you’re being Miyagi’d in preparation for challenges later in the game. Alas no that’s the whole game. You don’t even watch any of the combat either due to the large flashing instructions that turn up on screen.
Every so often the game changes the sound effects to become muffled then overproduced, seemingly to distract you from the realisation that no thought process is necessary to be good at this game. On the plus side though, having Snoop as a major part of this game does mean some good backing music, however it seems as though the developers failed year 3 maths. The average snoop song goes for around 3 ½ minutes, whereas the average battle goes for about 5 button-pressing, fun-filled minutes. That unfortunate situation means that you ending hearing a lot of loops. It’s bad enough that the gameplay is monotonous, but could they really not transition from one song to another? It’s as if they all felt lethargic after….ohhhhhhh.
That pretty much sums up the whole game: press buttons, receive insight from Snoop in stationary cut scenes, and sit back to realise you’ve wasted a few hours of your life. The one thing it does prove is that ganja and game development don’t mix.
Available on Xbox 360, PS3, iPhone and Android.