Blind dates must be terrifying, there are so many ‘what ifs’. What if they look like your mother? What if they have a wandering eye? What if they hate dogs? What if they’re ACTUALLY BLIND and you’ve just been making a series of highly inappropriate jokes at their expense?

All such things accounted for, it must be said that Jinja Safari are one brave band. They are currently in the middle of a BLIND DATE TOUR: a nation-wide frenzy of awkward introductions, nervous giggles and too many trips to the bathroom. Lucky they’ve got New Zealand’s Opossum and Loz Angeles’ White Arrows as their wingmen, or things could get rather out of hand.

In preparation for their Sydney show, I had my own blind date with Jinja Safari’s Marcus Azon. It was a romance that blossomed slowly, forming into a beautiful flower of hope, only to be plucked like a broken heartstring at the last second…

FBi: OH HEY! Let me buy you a drink. What will you have?

Marcus: Orange juice. Neat. Do I have to pay you back, or is this a straight up gift?

F: So what’s your starsign?

M: Pisces. And You?

[Cancer. A crab and a fish: is this a match made in heaven or what?]

F: Have you ever been on a blind date before?

M: Never. Thanks for inviting me/us…

F: Can you cook?

M: Yes, pancakes, porridge and rice (in a rice cooker, although I sometimes burn the bottom).

F: What was your very first job?

M: Dressing as an elf, taking photos for Santa in the mall on school holidays.

F: And what do you do now?

M: Play in a band. We get played on the radio and all that.

F: Desert island discs: your top 3?

M: Elliot Smith – Either/or, The Police – Outlandos d’Amour or Ron Kenoly – Rejoice.

F: What’s your favourite city in the world?

M: Montreal.

F: How do you like spending your Sunday morning?

M: Well, there’s not so much to differentiate the days at the moment, cause we don’t work normal jobs. So weekends are most likely the work days and mid week is time for mad chill. Growing up, Sundays used to be a very sacred thing for all of us in the band, but it’s become less and less so, maybe for the better.

F: What has been your shortest relationship?

M: I held a girls hand in the Arctic Monkeys mosh pit at Splendour 5 years ago. We were separated by the push and shove and I never saw her again.

F: Do you still buy records or are you a digital kind of guy?

M: I swing both ways.

F: Have you ever had a black eye?

M: I don’t think so. I’m a good ducker.

F: Who are you going to be for Halloween this year?

M: My trademark villain/ parking ticket guy.

F: Who’s your favourite Kardashian?

M: All of them. They’re all great.

F: When was the last time you cried?

M: About 2 months ago. In Forestville.

F: So I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number…

M: Sweet yeah, I’ll call you, I’ll just have to check with my girlfriend.

WHAT:   The Blind Date Tour w/ Jinja Safari, Opossum and White Arrows
WHEN:   Friday 17 August, 8pmWHERE: The Metro Theatre (LICENSED ALL AGES)
TICKETS:   $38.90
MORE INFO:   www.metrotheatre.com.au/events/2012/08/17/jinja-safari