Recently, a man tried to get in my pants by seducing me with a ukulele.
It failed.

The thought of a dude serenading me as he hums and strums on a cheap uke isn’t a bad one when the guy in my head is Ryan Gosling* and he’s wearing nothing but hawaiian print hot pants. Am I right? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it might even be the universal dream.

But it’s only a dream, and unless you want to ruin Ryan Gosling for everyone it should stay a dream. Because the reality is awkward.

Guys, three chords and a badly sung ballad preceded by ‘I’ll give you ten bucks if you’re not in love with me after this’ just isn’t hot. It’s uncomfortable. Where are we supposed to look? Do you want us to sing along? Just don’t do it.

On the other hand, paint one like this and hang it on your wall and I’m all yours.

WHAT :: Hula Dreams, an exhibition of hand-painted ukuleles by over 50 artists curated by Coral Reef (a.k.a. Carol Ruff)
WHERE :: Gallery East, 21 Burnie St Clovelly
WHEN :: November 9 – 24
HOW MUCH :: Free

*On second thoughts, even Ryan Gosling is awkward with a uke..

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