If you’re often plagued by such questions as “is there a tiny alien living in my brain?” or “why do I get drunk every night?”, then look no further. Sydney dude/blogger Max Lavergne may just have the answers you’ve been waiting for. Introducing TOD Talks, the event created to address the important dilemmas that the idiots at TED Talks have straight up ignored for far too long.

So Max, how did the TOD Talks idea come about? Were you guys drunk and watching TED Talks online?
EXACTLY. Except not drunk, obviously, you should never drink and watch TED Talks in case your brain gets overloaded with wisdom and explodes or whatever. But we definitely watched TED Talks online! This one by the author of Eat Pray Love about nurturing creativity. This one about U2 or something. These are the lessons of our generation. We just wanted to be able to do some lessons of our own and show some Powerpoint presentations, so we changed one of the vowels in TED Talks and made a poster. The rest is history.

Can you tell us a bit about the other guys who will be joining you on the night and how the gang got roped into the gig?

Well, TOD Talks is all about telling lessons, so we came up with a list of the finest lesson-tellers who were available next Wednesday night. Kenzie Larsen has a lot of experience working with Powerpoint presentations, so she was a natural fit. Matt Banham is a musician so he presumably has a lot of friends who drink heavily. We’re hoping he’ll bring them and make the night financially viable. Sophie Braham has a funny Twitter account and unlike Corinne Grant (our first choice) she doesn’t charge a huge appearance fee. Alex Morris writes the funniest blog in Australia so we wanted to get him before he makes too much money from blogging and retires to spend more time with all his blog money. The roping part was easy! I just emailed them all and they said yes and then we put their names on the poster. Seriously, any idiot could do this shit.

So what kind of topics are going to be covered? Is it safe to assume your audience will be infinitely smarter after attending the event?

I wouldn’t say infinitely. Maybe “somewhat”. Here’s a list of topics that might get covered:

— Do Atheists Score More Pussy And If So Is It Sweeter And More Delicious?
— The Hidden World Of A Tiny Piece Of Lego At The Bottom Of A Landfill
— Yellow, White, Red (If You Have A Disease): Is It Possible To Make Other Colours Of Liquid Come Out Of Your Penis?
— Why I Get Drunk EVERY Night
— Is There A Tiny Alien Living In Your Brain?
— Five Kinds of Dog
— U MAD BRO: Is Trolling The New Terrorism?
— Telephones On The Floor For Old People Who Fall Over And Can’t Get Back Up Again: Why Every Home Should Have One

Just important stuff. Maybe different important stuff to that. I don’t want to give away too much.

What’s your TOD specialty? Without giving too much away, what can we expect more specifically from your talk?

My TOD Talk is entitled Skeletons: Just A Bunch Of Dumb Rocks Riding Around Inside Your Body Or What? It’s going to be a thoughtful discussion on how best to cope with these dumb heavy rocks that are inside your arms and legs and whatnot.

Tell us, in your opinion what makes a killer powerpoint presentation?

WordArt is pretty much essential as far as I’m concerned. Clip Art is a plus. That little silhouette guy with the bean-shaped head who always stands in profile so you can see his nose? A classic. I’d like to see that guy. Maybe some .GIFs also.

Apart from what we’ve already talked about, is there anything else worth mentioning that makes TOD unmissable/a buttload better than TED?

Affordable beer and a sweet fucking venue where you can go downstairs and listen to Kasabian when the talks are done, I guess? Also all of these people are very funny and it is gonna be fun and enjoyable AND free. Please come to this event!

WHAT: TOD Talks: Ideas We’re Thinking Of.
WHO: Max Lavergne, Kenzie Larsen, Matt Banham, Alex Morris and Sophie Braham
WHERE: The World Bar, Top Floor
WHEN: Wednesday 12th September, from 7:30pm
HOW MUCH: Free!