As our stylish friends the Mayans have prophesied, the world is indeed ending on Friday the 21st of December. They didn’t go into great detail about what’s going to happen, so we at The Flog brought in a prophet to prophesy in greater depth. It was really bizarre how many band names turned up in the prophecy – so we’re taking it as a sign that you should probably attend the End of the World Party in King’s Cross – ’cause that’s where you’ll find the tunes when the end is nigh-er than ever.

Luckily we took notes from the prophet. She was very specific and smelt like cardamom:

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You’ll be holding your last tin of beans in sweating Palms in the dank holds of one of your friends’ underground bomb Cabins when, above, the wind will heave as the old Willow Beats against your makeshift roof. You will call the guy who has selflessly made himself available to dole out canned food from his golf cart during these, the early phases of the Mayan apocalypse. His name will be Derek but he will prefer you to call him Derek the Moonbase Commander – perhaps one of the most groundless Epithets ever ascribed to an insane man – but you will oblige with marginal skepticism. 

Stocks will be low and the Moonbase Commander won’t answer his walkie talkie when, suddenly, the tectonic plates will shift along The Faults of the Pacific and Phillippine plates, sending tsunamis on their way, but it’s just a ripple from space where Richard Branson will sit watching, eating popcorn, picking the popcorn out of his pearly whites. Then the sun, that Light Giant in the sky, will begin to burn brighter and hotter until the seas churn furiously. It’s at this point that a 3,000-strong Skullsquadron will probably (possibly, maybe, the crystal ball is getting cloudy) descend from True North and annihilate everything in its path, leaving Beaten Bodies in it’s wake. Probably.

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Oh and Nakagin is playing but seriously, what in the sam-hell is a Nakagin?

On top of this, DJs Felix Lloyd, Robopop DJs, Swim Team DJs, Cries Wolf DJs, Danny Cruel and a few special guests will be spending the end of the world in the Cross.

Warm up your anti-apocalypse muscles with this exclusive mix from Willow Beats:

It’s $15 for a wristband that gets you into both venues so you can party all night – this thing is going late. Forever, even!

Also, if you’re not a supporter yet, support FBi cause prophesies don’t come cheap.

WHAT: Go Here Go There – The End of the World Party
WHEN: Fri 21st December
WHERE: The World Bar & FBi Social (Kings Cross Hotel)
HOW LONG HAVE WE GOT TO PARTY

BEFORE WE ARE ANNIHILATED?: 8pm – Sunrise

HOW MUCH: $15 for entry into both venues