Welcome to the week! Now what are you going to do about it?!

Maybe the rain chased you indoors all weekend and you’re a little shy on braving the outside world. Maybe you’re on a downward spiral after binge watching House of Cards season 2 in one hit. Maybe you’re even waiting in the hope that reality television might actually live up to it’s promise (it won’t).

Whatever your particular brand of agoraphobia, FBi’s got you sorted with a choice selection of the weeks best art, events and culture to you inspire you back into the world. That’s right it’s the FBi CULTURE GUIDE!

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Monday 17th :: Start the Week Laughing

There’s nothing funny about Mondays … or is there? Down at the Nelson Hotel in Bondi they’re bringing you a hilarious collection of hilarity and general laughiness. They’ve got $12 steaks, Dave Williams, Simon Kennedy and SPECIAL GUESTS (not necessarily in that order…)

WHAT: Happy Mondays Comedy
WHERE: Nelson Hotel, 232 Oxford St, Bondi
WHEN: 8pm
HOW MUCH: $10

Tuesday 18th :: Even if we’re just dancing in the dark…

Is the weight of the week starting to build? Are your shoulders sagging and your knees getting weak?

Shake off those woes and loosen up in the safety of darkness and anonymity at No Lights, No Lycra. This weekly night is all about being yourself in an unpretentious and open way. This is no nightclub and nobody cares if you don’t know the moves, just get in amongst it and shake your cares away.

WHAT: No Lights, No Lycra
WHERE: Redfern Town Hall, 73 Pitt St, Redfern
WHEN: 7.30pm
HOW MUCH: $5

Wednesday 19th :: Just like a prayer … or a maybe a virgin

A great lyric is more than an excuse to sing along, it’s a beacon guiding us through those moments in life too enormous to face alone. Everything I know I Learnt from Madonna is playwright Wayne Tunks’ hilarious exploration of the loves of his life and how the immortal lyrics of Madonna helped him get through when all else seemed bleak…

WHAT: Everything I Know I Learnt from Madonna
WHERE: The Old Fitzroy Theatre, 129 Dowling Street (cnr Cathedral Street) Woolloomooloo
WHEN: 8pm
HOW MUCH: $32 ($26 concession)

Thursday 20th :: What’s Love Got to do With It?

Tora Lopez and Rya Kleinpeter are Inner Course and they’re going to explore just how romance interacts with all the nuances of our daily lives. Using power ballads and dance they’re setting up a timeless inquiry between the self and the other.

They’re joined by celebrity guest Dance Therapists: Daphane Park, Emiliano Maggi, Cat Glennon, Michael Gruenglas, Lisa Lozano and Bryony Geeves.

WHAT: Incidents in Romance Technologies: 101 Making Love (Out of Nothing at all)
WHERE: Alaska Projects, 9A Elizabeth Bay Rd, Elizabeth Bay
WHEN: 6pm
HOW MUCH: FREE

Friday 21st :: Get your Valentines love a week late…

Saving your romantic moves for one day of the year is just plain lazy! So what if Valentines passed a week ago and you screwed it up, tonight is the night to pull it together and take your special someone to see one of the most romantic films ever!

Roman Holiday is the overseas vacation you always wanted but never quite found the right drunken, disoriented princess to make it all happen. It’s on tonight at Eden Gardens in North Ryde and the price of a ticket includes a tasty little hamper and beverage to feed to your loved one!

WHAT: Roman Holiday at Open Air Garden Cinema
WHERE: Eden Gardens, 301-307 Lane Cove Rd, North Ryde
WHEN: 7pm
HOW MUCH: $29.50 incl. a gourmet refreshment box with fresh cheeses, pâté, crackers, fruits and your choice of a beverage

Don’t forget to tune in to Arvos on FBi for more Culture Guide– each weekday at 4:30pm