In the spirit of full disclosure, I feel I should say two things before you read this interview.

One: I am, generally speaking, not a fan of stand-up comedy. I think it’s awkward, and I’m terrified of anything that holds the risk of those two dreaded words – audience participation.

Two: I only know two jokes. One of them is a reference to a philosopher in the early Baroque period, and often falls flatter than my first attempt at sponge cake. The other goes like this: A man walks into a bar. You think he would have seen it.

Suffice to say, I am not comedy material. Ryan Withers, on the other hand, is hilarious. Punning off my questions, cracking wise, and engaging in generally spirited tom-foolery, this Sydney Comedy Festival performer is all about the laffs. Hell, he’s almost talked me into seeing his show. For fun!

FBi: So how did you first get into comedy?

Ryan Withers: I decided I wanted to do stand-up comedy and then 9 years later I did. My first spot was in the Raw Comedy competition and I didn’t win but I received a compliment from an attractive older lady. And that’s the story of why I have a thing for attractive older ladies.

Ha. Sounds sexy. Any early horror stories?

Yeah, one morning while having breakfast, a woman was murdered by a man with A HOOK FOR A HAND! And to this day if you eat cereal in that house you can hear the ‘tink tink tink’ of the man’s hook – oh you mean about me doing comedy… Not really.

Give us a plug – why are we coming to see your show?

Because it’s a variety show clusterfuck and about halfway through there’s a very good impression of the Dad from TV’s ‘ALF’.

Where do you get your gags from?

I just do things that I would like if I saw it, then somewhere down the line I’ll consider the audience. Usually afterwards when I’m questioning why they weren’t laughing.

Any other picks at the festival this year?

The Cloud Girls at Yalumba Wine Bar at 7:45, Eric Hutton at Corridor Bar at 9:30, and Deanne Smith at The Seymour Centre at 9:00pm.

Got a joke for us?

No but there’s one or two in the show, you may need sonar capabilities to pick up on them but they’re there, and in their own way they are beautiful… like all mother nature’s creations except for jagged rocks. What was she thinking?

What: The Lemon-Lime Functacular Occurrence Hour Right On with Ryan Withers

Where: Corridor

When: Tue 3 – Sat 7 May at 7pm

How much: Fresh $18, Corridor Friends Tues $12

Get your tickets here.